|GO or STOP????|
This question is probably the main reason why I have had such an up and down start to my New York journey. I came to the Big Apple on March 16th to pursue my entrepreneurial dreams. I didn't expect to have instant success when I got here but I will admit that I thought that I would be farther along then I am. This is not to say that I am discouraged, far from it. In fact, these last couple weeks have been two of my very best. I know that this is where I am supposed to be and the work that I have done these past 6 months will start to pay big dividends.
However, I have to realize that if I am going to truly achieve what I came here to achieve then I have to completely kill the annoying guy in my head that has always said wait, stop, avoid.
get me some schizo pills
I am a perfect example. I have always easily agreed with that jerk in my head that constantly said STOP and avoid.
Avoid what? It didn't matter. Avoid going to class. Avoid writing that paper. Avoid working out. Avoid eating healthy. Avoid the potential relationship. Avoid and worry about it tomorrow.
I have done a lot in the last couple years to kill that freaking guy in my head. In fact, he is weaker today than he has ever been.
He hated the idea of me getting off the couch and getting in shape. I still fight him everyday on this one (he is about ready to give up for good on this issue).
He hated the idea of leaving a very comfortable monthly paycheck and taking on the challenge of becoming a successful entrepreneur. He is not a fan of the move to New York City as he can't stand the ups and downs of living in the Big Apple.
He really hates my list, my goals, my passions. He will do anything he can to kill these dreams.
Proof that this freaking guy exists!
The last couple years I have been dealing with a very annoying foot injury. It wasn't a serious injury but it kept me from running long distance. Every time I tried, I re-injured it. Finally, about three months ago, this injury starting to go away and I was able to run again.
After hitting the pavement a few times a week for about a month I was back into decent running shape for the first time in a long time. However, I still hated running. Some days I was able to run for long stretches, other days I would get so tired that I gave up within 15 minutes.
Suddenly, I figured it out. The answer was 22 minutes.
Every time I got over the 22 minute barrier than my mind would stop worrying about how tired I was and how much my feet hurt. After 22 minutes I was fine to continue running without negative thinking. For the remainder of my run I would think about my businesses, my goals, the book I just read, etc. I honestly started to have some of my best brainstorming sessions. I finished my run and felt absolutely great and always seemed to get a lot done the rest of the day.
I don't know why this occurred at 22 minutes but for some reason when I got to to that point I knew I was fine. Some call it a second wind. I think it was that freaking guy giving up, he stopped making me look at that watch constantly.
I also noticed that on the days that I didn't make it to 22 minutes, my work suffered. I gave up easily on my tasks and just told myself that I would get that project done tomorrow. That freaking guy is powerful sometimes.
I got over the 22 minute barrier. The barrier turned to 15 minutes and then to 10. Eventually, that guy was no longer running with me at all. I really started to love running because of how I felt when I finished. It was no longer something I had to do to get into shape.
Then last week, out of nowhere, he came back when I switched up my routine. Instead of running through the neighborhoods around my apartment, I tried running long distance on a nearby track. That freaking guy started counting the laps. I was 10 laps in and dead tired. I gave up.
Why was I so tired after running just 10 laps (less than 20 minutes)? Was I trying to push myself to hard? Nope, I wasn't running at a faster pace than usual.
Was I still tired from running for 50 minutes just a couple days before? Nope, I had been running for at least 45 minutes every other day for two straight weeks, so that couldn't of been the reason.
So what was it?
I started thinking about how bad it was going to be to run another lap. That freaking guy convinced me that each lap on that track was hell and that I would be better off if I just stopped. Besides, I could always run again tomorrow when I felt better.
Building on my first 6 months in NYC
All my potential success is contingent on killing this negative thinking for good. You might think that all that self help stuff is bullshit, and yeah, a lot of it is. But the power of what you think is not bullshit. I don't know much but I do know this:
- If you really focus on where you want to be, you will take the necessary actions to get there.
- If you really focus on what is wrong with your life, you will take the necessary actions to stay where you are at (or make your situation worse).
So 6 months into my New York journey: Has it been a success? Overall, no, not yet.
Last night I ran lap after lap on that track for 60 minutes. I have no idea how many laps I ran. That freaking guy isn't that strong.